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When you Feel your Pediatrician is Brushing you Off: Scripts for Addressing Concerns

As a parent, the health and well-being of your child are top priority. That's why when you feel like your pediatrician is brushing off your concerns, it can be disheartening, frustrating, and worrying. It's important to remember that your intuition and observations as a parent are invaluable. We call them parent instincts for a reason! Here are some strategies and scripts to help you advocate for your child and get them the support they need.

1. Prepare for Appointments

Before your appointment, write down your concerns and specific observations about your child. Be as detailed as possible. You may even want to include dates and times, patterns you've noticed, and how these issues are affecting your child's daily life (i.e. feeding!). This will help you express your concerns clearly and efficiently.

2. Communicate Openly and Clearly

During the appointment, don’t beat around the bush. If you have concerns going in that your questions may not be fully addressed, communicate that as well. Remember you are there for answers, not to accuse anyone. Use phrases like, “I feel that…” or “I am concerned…” to communicate your concerns. 

3. Seek Clarifications

If the pediatrician provides explanations or diagnoses that aren't clear to you, don't hesitate to ask for clarification. It’s important that you fully understand the pediatrician's perspective and the reasoning behind their assessments.

4. Ask for Additional tests or referrals

If you're not satisfied with the answers, it's okay to ask to dig a little deeper. Request additional tests or a referral to a specialist. Sometimes, further evaluation can provide peace of mind or uncover overlooked issues.

**Reminder: You can *always* self refer to physical therapy.

5. Trust Your Instincts

As a parent, you know your child best. If your gut feeling tells you something is wrong, it's important to listen to that instinct. Do not be shy about asking for deeper evaluation if necessary.

6. Seek a Second Opinion

If you still feel your concerns are not being taken seriously, it’s perfectly acceptable to seek a second opinion. Another doctor may have a different perspective or insight into your child's health.

When you’re in the moment at an appointment, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and forget things you want to mention or ask. Check out these quick scripted phrases to help you get the conversation going where you want it to go. And tip - write them down and bring them with you just in case!

“Can you recommend any trusted sources where I can learn more about this specific concern?”

“If you don’t recommend any action at this time, can you tell me what to look out for down the road or when you *would* recommend intervening?”

“I’m not comfortable with taking a wait and see approach. Do you have any preferred providers who I can see to have my child evaluated for my own peace of mind?” 

“If you don’t recommend intervention at this time, is there anything I can be doing with my child in the meantime?”

**REMINDERS: 

  • YOU are the expert on your baby.

  • Your pediatrician is NOT a specialist or therapist.

  • You can *always* self refer to physical therapy. 

  • Every state in the US has a federally mandated early intervention program for low to no cost therapy services.

  • Act EARLY! Don’t take “wait and see” for an answer.

  • Your relationship with your pediatrician is a partnership. Mutual respect and open communication are key. Express your appreciation for their efforts and share your goal of ensuring the best care for your child.

Feeling unheard by your pediatrician can be a stressful experience, but taking proactive steps can make a difference. Remember, you are your child’s biggest advocate. Your active involvement and persistence are crucial in navigating these challenges and ensuring your child receives the care they need and deserve. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and your role as a parent is integral to your child's health and well-being.